Tag Archives: marriage

Seeking and Choosing

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We recently bought this piece of artwork to hang in our house.

The words are cut off and the picture is kind of blurry, but it reads:

WE TEND TO SEEK HAPPINESS WHEN HAPPINESS IS ACTUALLY A CHOICE

And on this Valentine’s Day, I’d like to propose to you that the same thing goes for love.  Loving your neighbor, your friend, your enemy, your lover…  it’s a choice.  Not something we seek and then find or don’t.

This isn’t at all to say that it is easy – oh no!  And it isn’t to say there’s not an emotional component intrinsic to happiness or love.  But just to say they are made up of choices at the very foundation.  Little ones.  Ones that aren’t even big enough to feel like a decision of any kind, but just appear to be life on sensible auto-pilot kind of stuff.  But it is possible to not choose love over and over and over again in the tiniest of ways, and end up far down a road of unhappiness and unlove and have no idea how or why you got there…  and to assume that you simply must not have “found it/him/her yet.”

My hopes for me and for you are that we:

Choose love.  Fight, but fight fair.  Don’t manipulate.  Be real.  Admit it when you’re wrong.  Don’t admit it when you’re not.  Have conversations with other people’s humanity in the forefront of your mind.  Be proactive.  Don’t passively look for something that might come your way.  Choose it!  Cultivate it.  Practice it.  Do it.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

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